How to Get Married and Stay Married

Image result for agony of marriage
With the increasing rate of divorce, it is crystal clear that keeping a marriage is not easy. While trying to keep their marriage, most couples are faced with challenges like maintaining their careers, raising children, financial problems, temptations, infidelity, differences in cultures and values and the list goes on. So what it takes for couples to stay married?

1. Stay committed to your marriage no matter what. It is easy to stay committed when the relationship is going well, but when the marriage becomes problematic and you don’t see each other eye-to-eye, will you stay committed? It is not easy to stay committed but you have to remember that marriage is a lifelong commitment. Living with one partner for the rest of your life needs a high level of commitment no matter what the situation is. There are sacrifices to be made when the relationship is not going well. For couples to stay married, they must be willing to make sacrifices to create a long-lasting and strong marriage. A high level of commitment is necessary for couples to stay married. This means both spouses should be committed to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work.

2. Do not expect your marriage to be perfect. Even the best marriages have their flaws. This is real life not a fairytale and there is no such thing as perfect marriage. Expecting too much from your marriage can be frustrating and dangerous. Putting more pressure to your marriage by expecting too much can be suffocating and your marriage may suffer in the end. The higher the expectations, the higher the disappointments and you tend to be less grateful of your spouse. Disappointments and being ungrateful could ruin your marriage. For couples to stay married, it is best to lower your standards and have realistic expectations.

3. Make time and be available for each other. The world we live in is a fast-paced world and we have to keep up with it but in the process we tend to neglect our partners by not making time for them. No matter how busy you are, giving time to your spouse is important if you want to keep your marriage. There are ways to spend time with each other despite your busy schedule. If you are both working, make it a point to set a regular date at least once a week. If you work together, eat lunch together so you can talk, laugh and connect with each other even for an hour a day. Take a moment every morning to sit down with a cup of coffee or tea with your spouse before going to work to talk about your plans for the day. Send the kids to your parents or hire a baby sitter and go on a vacation once in a while. For couples to stay married, it is important to make time for each other, communicate regularly and be available for each.

4. Allow each other to grow individually. Even married people need some time away from each other not because they love each other less but because they need to grow individually too. It is important for both spouses to understand that they both need to grow individually. Your husband may want to spend time with his male buddies and play their favorite sports. Your wife may want to have a getaway vacation with her female friends. It is important for the marriage to have a strong foundation of trust to allow both spouses to explore each other’s passion independently and be sure not to overdo or take advantage of this freedom. Although you need to spend time with your buddies or friends, your spouse should be your one and only best friend. You should spend more time and more memories with your spouse than anybody else. Couples who keep growing as individuals are more likely to stay together. They have more good things to bring into the marriage, making the marriage happier and stronger. For couples to stay married, they have to grow together as a couple and individually as a person.

5. Learn to deal with arguments in a positive way. Living with your spouse isn’t always smooth sailing, there will be times when you will not see each other eye-to-eye and arguments may arise. It is important to know how to handle arguments. Avoid letting issues pile up until you explode. Bring up the issue as soon as possible but choose an appropriate time. In raising your issue, stick to the subject at hand and avoid bringing up things from the past. Respect your spouse and remain respectful too. Do not let anger get the best of you. Listen to your spouse because if you want to be heard, your spouse wants to be heard too. No stonewalling or do not avoid discussing the issue. Look things at your spouse’s perspective to understand each other better. If you both can’t agree to a common solution, find a middle ground and compromise to resolve the issue. You don’t have to win every argument. Remember that you are arguing with your spouse and not with an enemy. It is okay to lose and give in once in a while. Being understanding and compassionate will benefit your relationship. Learning how to handle arguments can help couples to stay married.
A successful marriage is a result of two people working hard to keep their marriage despite the challenges.

Strengthen Your Marriage Through Good Communication

Marriage is a life-long relationship and to keep it strong and healthy, couples must stay connected to each other. One way to stay connected to each other is to keep the communication lines open. So how to strengthen your marriage through good communication?
1. Spend time with your spouse than anyone else. In order to strengthen your marriage through good communication, you have to spend more time with your spouse communicating and talking about things happening to you. It is important not to let a day pass not talking to your spouse. It is said that happiness is multiplied and pain is halved when shared with your spouse. Constant communication between couples strengthen the marriage.

2. Understand each other’s feelings and thoughts.  Through communication, better understanding of each other’s feelings and thoughts can be achieved. It is also important to know that men and women may have different views and couples should understand that. Women in general tend to be more emotional and talk more about their feelings. Men on the other hand are not usually open to discuss their feelings but they more likely talk about their interest, activities and solutions to problems. Knowing and understanding each other’s point of view is important in order to strengthen your marriage through good communication.

3. Listen. When problems arise in a marriage, husbands usually want to quickly find the solution when in fact the first thing a wife need is a listening ear. It could also happen the other way when a wife immediately want to find a solution to a problem when all a husband need is her attention and someone to listen to him. Communication is not all about talking it is also about listening.  In order to strengthen your marriage through good communication, you should know when to stop talking and just listen.

4. Know when to keep quiet and when to talk. Timing is important if you want an effective communication with your spouse. When there are issues that you want to discuss, find the appropriate time to bring it up. When your spouse is overwhelmed by a lot of work, it is obvious that this is not the right time to bring up those issues that you want to discuss with your spouse. Let a little time pass before raising those issues to make sure that your discussion will be carried out smoothly. Be considerate of your spouse and know when to keep quiet and when to speak.

5. Speak graciously and respectfully. Timing is not the only element if you want to strengthen your marriage through good communication. It is essential to choose the right words at the right time. Well-chosen words spoken at the right time are two important ingredients of an effective conversation. Couples should be mindful with the kind of words they use when talking to each other. Even in the face of arguments, name calling and cursing should be avoided because words can hurt and can leave scars to your significant other. In order to strengthen your marriage through good communication, speak to each other graciously and respectfully.

6. Open up to your spouse. To strengthen your marriage through good communication, you have to open up to your spouse. Express your feelings clearly and open up to your spouse. The common mistake of couples especially husbands is thinking that opening up to their wives is a sign of weakness. Husbands tend to bottle things up thinking that if they avoid talking about a certain issue, the said issue will just go away. But this is usually not true because if issues keep piling up, you’ll eventually get fed up and this can be more damaging to your marriage. Couples should know how to express themselves and open up with their spouses to keep the marriage strong.

7. Own up to your mistakes and apologize.  Humility is important if you want to strengthen your marriage through good communication. If you want to resolve issues in your marriage through discussion and effective conversation, you have to own up to your mistakes and learn to apologize. Pride aggravates the conflicts in your marriage and takes away the desire to apologize and so the proud spouse makes excuses instead of apologizing. To achieve an effective conversation with your spouse, learn to say “sorry” and be humble if you have hurt your spouse.

Summary:-Good communication is a powerful tool to bridge the gap between couples so it is important for couples to take advantage of it if they want to create a strong and lost-lasting marriage.

 

About The Author

Related Posts

Add Comment

CommentLuv badge