The Worth of Your Marriage (+ 4 Ways to Put Your Marriage Alive Again)

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 Marriage is the process by which two people make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that putatively lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. Over the course of a relationship that can last as many as seven or eight decades, a lot happens. Personalities change, bodies age, and romantic love waxes and wane. “When things become challenging or frustrating or unsatisfying in a marriage, it is common to develop the fantasy that there must be something out there that’s better. And the truth is, there probably is something out there that’s easier or more exciting or more fun — in the beginning. But, typically, the challenges you are facing in your marriage are ones that will
eventually surface with someone else as well, so it is worth connecting with a professional to see if you can revive the relationship.”  —Elisabeth LaMotte 

2 Critical Reasons to consider before Opt for a Divorce
The 21st Century streams with surprises almost in every field of life. The most astounding is that of marriage institutions that are fast collapsing into cold waters of divorce. The incessant quest for divorce among married couple across the universal axes is becoming an emerging trend in the sacred institution of marriage. Like new brand of fashion in the shopping mall- every Dick and Harry wants to go to the welfare to dissolve his or her marriage for one unlikely reason or the other. Before you ask for a divorce, take your time to consider the two reasons below as follows:- 

1. The kids: – Children are gifts from Heaven and not just product of your body or attestation of your biological healthiness. So many people ask for a divorce or dissolve their marriage on personal reasons for selfish ambition or purpose but without giving a thought to the Psychology and the entire emotional embodiment of the kids. Even some simply walk out of their union without looking at the direction of the kids. At the end of the day, the kids suffer the negative impact of the adult decision. This is a big issue in the 21st century as there is much emphasis to attaining a perfect society. It is a fundamental human right violation of the highest order that many adults are committing this day against the children. What the National Constitution provides in the welfare of the children for a divorced marriage can naturally never substitute the presence of a real home for these kids. Little wonder if the parents themselves could have grown into something profitable to themselves and to the society without the presence of their real parents living together. 
It is important that the welfare seek the consent of the kids before dissolving any marriage even if the adults involved are willing to go separate ways. Just asking the woman to take the custody of the kids and the man to visit them in a while on Court permission is a great crime the society commits against the child standing on the border-line. At that point the child destiny is in jeopardy even in the presence of all welfare provisions and protection. The child need more than food, security and money. The child needs the support and unrestrained care of both parents. The child is exposed to emotional trauma of some sort without the presence of one parent. This mortal bonding with father and mother is a thing that no amount of care and support of one parent can replace that of the other. The child surely grows up with a missing fundamental element that only a united home can give. 

2. The Future: – It is important couples take time to snap into the future ahead of time to catch a glimpse of what it would look like without the kids. The future is pregnant with surprises because anything can happen to deny one joy for a life time. To obtain divorce is as easy as signing the register for attendance in a workshop, but not so easy when time begins to invent certain packages of surprises to you in the near future. The kids can grow up into adulthood to hate you or even denounce you as a biological parent. The child can grow up into a bloody sadist and one day cut across your way to murder you because of the hatred life has shown him for your selfish decision to walk away when or she needed you most. On the other hand, the kid can grow up into a big superstar in any field of life but will not cherish to have you in his or her company for whatever reason you had to walk out on him or her at the prime of life. It is important that couples should consider the critical reasons above before breaking up. 

The key to long lasting and happy marriages is not so much in finding the right person but in being the right person. Marriage is not all about sex marathon or material embellishment rather is in the first place a sacred institution ordained by God though managed by man. It is important you do not “fall in love”. You need not to shut your eyes to obvious realities that threaten relationships across the globe, and that can easily tear your hearts apart in the future. It is against this background that I want to discuss in details the nine potential dangers you need to avoid in relationships or marriage:

1. Do not tie the nuptial at the altar if there exist persistent lack of trust between two of you: No matter the financial gain you stand to get if you walk down the aisle to tie the nuptial at the altar if there is a lingering lack of trust for your partner, it is better and cheaper you quit the relationship. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. Money cannot build trust into a relationship because trust is an intangible asset of a person that boosts his character quotient in both business and relationship respectively.

2. If you spend most of the time with your partner disagreeing and quarreling: This is a typical sign of a relationship that must crumble just with time. It is better you spend time studying and building up one another in conversation and in prayer. Watch out for couples that quarrels and disagrees often, they do not make happy homes and blissful union at the end of the day. It is important that you agree at the onset to help each other build up missing values and character. You do not quarrel to win a medal so it is not even necessary, rather identify your weak points and be plain to accept constructive criticism from your partner.
If you happen to have the inefficiencies that can trigger a divorce in marriage it is important you seek for both expert and godly counsels from right persons respectively.

3. If your Partner insists that you drop all your old friends and start a fresh in building a social life that matches “his” or “hers: This is a major signal that there is a boiling point waiting for explosion in the near future. It is better you find a way to resolve this issue amicably with you partner or dissolve the relationship to save yourselves of emotional trauma in the near future.

4. If either of you continue to ruminate within the question like- is he or she really sure about the love for me “he” or “she” professes: This is nothing but significant element of doubt that shops the capacity to build up to explosive potential in the near future. The spirit of doubt suspects everything in relationship and suspects even itself. It is a typical oddity in relationship that be seriously dealt with before it spreads its poisonous tentacles. If you do not love the person or you perceive that he or she do not love you, there is not need to pretend for whatever reason, simply ask for exist to save you both of heartbreak in the future. However, I must not hesitate to inform you that true love is blind gradually and cannot be perfected instantaneously. 

 4 Ways to Put Your Marriage Alive Again

For years, psychologists tried to understand why relationships fail. They targeted dysfunction, focusing on factors like negative emotions and bad communication. But it turns out that not failing is not the same as succeeding when it comes to relationships. Couples who experience a lot of negative interactions are more likely to divorce in the first few years of marriage, but couples who don’t experience a lot of positive affect are likely to divorce farther down the road.  
So how can we make sure our relationships thrive? Today, I’m going to pass along four 
scientifically-based tips on how to keep your relationship alive.

1. Play and laugh together. Play isn’t just for kids. Playfully teasing your partner can bring you closer together (remember, the key is to tease “playfully”!). Couples who laugh more are more satisfied in their relationships. Humor and laughter also seem to have a buffering effect – using humor during conflict can help you resolve the issue. So pick a comedy the next time you’re choosing a movie for date night, come up with playful nicknames, and the next time that your partner says something that bothers you, try responding with a joke instead of getting defensive.

2. Try out new things together. The key to trying new activities with your partner is that the activities should be something novel and exciting. The novelty helps you and your partner create new memories and feel like a team as you try something new. The excitement of the activity may make you feel like your relationship is more exciting. Researchers have found that trying new things with your partner can help prevent boredom, make you feel closer to your partner, happier with your relationship, and more satisfied with life in general. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as white water rafting—something as simple as trying a new type of food, or playing tourist in your own town should do the trick.

3. Acknowledge your partner always. I think we’d all agree that it is important to do nice things for your partner on occasion. But it is also important to notice and acknowledge when your partner does nice things for you. A little “thanks” can go a long way. When people feel grateful to their partners, both partners end up feeling more connected with each other and more satisfied with the relationship. It’s also important to be grateful for who your partner is as a person. When you find yourself irritated instead of happy, try playing a few mind games to reset your mood – imagine what your life would be like if you’d never met your partner, or imagine how you’d feel if something bad happened to them. A bit morbid, but it works. These little exercises may* do more than just change your mood in the moment – couples who experience more gratitude are less likely to break up!

4. Show supports. Supporting your partner through rough times is vital, but it is just as important to be supportive when things go right. Couples who celebrate achievements and triumphs are more satisfied with their relationships, experience fewer conflicts, have more fun together, and are happier in general. So the next time your partner gets a promotion, meets a new exercise goal, or just has a really great day, make sure to celebrate with them.

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