Unconditionally loving your spouse details that no two people can live together for any length of time without once in a while rubbing each other the wrong way.
Have you ever found yourself irritated with your spouse – not liking him or her very much – even though you know you love your spouse? This feeling is perfectly normal, it’s perfectly normal. No two people can live together for any length of time without once in awhile rubbing each other the wrong way.
What’s important is how you handle these kinds of times. If you let those feelings of hurt or disappointment take over – your marriage will suffer. You will create a rift in your relationship. So, you have to make a choice. You have to decide to love. You may not feel loving, but if you decide to love, the feelings will follow.
You have to learn to demonstrate unconditional love to your spouse. Unconditional love is necessary for a strong marriage. Are you practicing unconditional love in your marriage? Here are some questions to consider:
- Do you support your spouse, or do you see his or her weaknesses as projects to fix?
- Are you afraid to be honest because your spouse might not accept you?
- Have you accepted your spouse’s failures or weaknesses?
There is a huge difference between unconditional love and conditional love. Conditional love blames a person, expects things in return and asks for more. Unconditional love accepts the person, expects nothing in return and sacrifices.
Conditional love says:
- “I will love you only if . . .” i.e there must be a reason to love.
- “I don’t know if I can handle the tough times. If things get too bad, I’m outta here.”
- “I might not be able to forgive you if you tell me . . .”
Unconditional love says:
- “I will love you even if . . .” i.e loving your spouse no matter what the end will bring
- “I will stay with you no matter what. I will always love you, even in the tough times.”
- “I know I’ll still love you if you tell me . . .”
Why test your spouse?
Your spouse isn’t perfect and you are the one person who sees all his or her faults and fears. What do you do with what you know about your spouse?
- Do you tease your spouse with hurtful and disheartening words?
- Worse, do you tease your spouse with hurtful words in front of others?
- Do you put your spouse down even in front of his/her friends?
- Do you withhold your love until your spouse corrects certain faults?
If you answered yes to a majority of these questions, you are loving conditionally and creating a huge fault line that can, at any moment, open up and become a large chasm between you. Conditional love creates a marriage in which each spouse is more concerned with getting his or her own way, instead of showing their spouse grace and love.
Your response and connection to your spouse are crucial to the health of your marriage and family. Your expression of unconditional love and acceptance is the force that will hold you together in the midst of the testing times in your marriage. Your standing with each other in the painful times as well as the good times is one of the primary elements of a great marriage.
If you don’t learn to show your spouse unconditional love, your marriage will suffer. If you and your spouse love each other conditionally, you’ll end up living like two immature children – each trying to get your own way and resenting the other person when you don’t. You may still be married, but you’ll miss out on the joy of a great marriage. Also, husbands and wives who don’t get unconditional love in their marriage may look for it somewhere else. And while they’re looking for that unconditional love, they’re pulling away from their spouse.
That’s why it’s so important for you and your spouse to learn to love each other unconditionally, but it’s not easy. Giving your spouse the security of your unwavering love requires grace, patience, affirmation of the good things, encouragement, respect and time. Even when you don’t feel like showing love, do it anyway. You need it, your spouse needs it and your marriage needs it.
Tips on how to keep your dream marriage alive.
- Communicate freely with each other and keep no inappropriate secrets; be plain and truthful always
- Forgive with your whole heart: Forgive your spouse when you are wronged and seek forgiveness when you offend.
- Start each day by asking, “What can I do for you?” Be eager to know and discover what will your partners day glamorous.
- Hang tough. Pray without ceasing. Instead of caving in to difficult circumstances, face and conquer them.
- Be a Godly partner: Consciously guard yourselves against threats and temptations that could pull your marriage apart.
- Pray together daily. Stay close. Work at maintaining emotional, physical and spiritual closeness.
- Put the Chemistry alive. Be committed to keeping your relationship fresh.
Keeping your marriage strong, vibrant and fresh isn’t always easy. But if you put in the time and effort, you’ll discover how truly amazing your marriage can be.
You can actually fall in love again with your spouse even while everything don’t go fine in the family. it is a matter of choice and well of course, emotion-driven. Be careful and watchful, make the tracks closed to unwanted discussions. This lack of focus on your spouse slowly unravels the fabric of a solid relationship.
Five Ways to Stay Strong and Bring Love to Exist Again
One of the things that happens in long-term marriages is that the demands of everyday life steal our attention away from our partners — and paying attention to the other is crucial for happy relationships.
1. See your marriage as a new one altogether
2. Pay close attention to HIM/HER
3. Share new experiences. It’s even better to try something out of the ordinary. Get creative and step outside your comfort zone.
4. Be affectionate — physically and verbally
5. Always be kind
How to Show Love to Your Husband
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.
11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.