Some people tend to fake personal confidence. They see it as a hard reality to live in.

As an individual, your personal beliefs and perceptions about how you see yourself and what you can do can be referred to as personal confidence.

Personal confidence is the ability to trust yourself.

Personal confidence is you loving yourself and being your own hero.

Personal confidence is you feeling awesomely positive about yourself, your physical, emotional and psychological being, and yet being flexible enough to learn.

Confidence is the value one places on himself – the way he sees himself.

Confidence is self-value. If you do not value you – everything about you, you will never be self-confident.

A person who is not self-confident will have to battle with self-doubt.

Here Is What Self-doubt Does

  • Self-doubt makes you feel less than you are.
  • Self-doubt makes you focus more on your weaknesses than on your strengths.
  • Self-doubt makes you think you don’t deserve compliments or appreciations.

You will find never find confidence where doubt exists and vice versa.

You are either full of self-confident or self-doubt.

Hey, you can not have both!

The truth is, most people fail in life because they lack personal confidence.

Confidence in yourself gives you boldness to tackle and face life’s every challenge. Confidence makes you stand on your legs again after life has pushed you down.

The greatness of self-confidence cannot just be overemphasized. However, there are people who exhibit fake personal confidence.

This kind of people wears masks pretending to be confident in themselves when they are still prisoners locked up in the dark cage of self-doubt.

People With Fake Personal Confidence Exhibit These Habits

1. They are Proud

Proud people wear a fake confidence around them, which makes them feel like they are better than everyone else. True confidence is not proud – it loves people and is humble.

2. They are Loud

People like this, tend to be very loud, they speak too much and act more than they are supposed.

Not because they are confident, but because they want people to perceive them as confident people.

That’s a fake confidence.

3. They Become Bullies

These are usually seen in schools, the situation where some people become bullies, always troubling other people so that they will be respected.

True confidence never intimidates people, it is secured.

4. They Are Domineering

People who exude fake confidence wants to dominate everyone they come across.

They want to control other people’s affairs. They want everyone to be under them while they are at the helm of all affairs.

This is not the real and true personal confidence. It is fake and overinflated.

Most people are chained with either self-doubt or an inflated self-confidence and every day they seek freedom, either consciously or subconsciously.

But we cannot solve a problem until we know its root cause.

Causes Of Self-Doubt and How To Resolve Them

I will be listing some causes of self-doubt.

  • Self-doubt is caused by abuse – sexual, domestic and emotional abuses can cause self-doubt.Victims of abuses are likely to suffer. Victims of abuses are likely to suffer self-doubt which stems from blaming themselves.
  • Poor academic performance –  for children who battled with low performance in school, they tend to grow up with self-doubt. Thinking and believing that those who did better than them.
  • Criticism –  this act has a huge negative impact on people. Being criticized makes one feel extremely bad, he doesn’t just feel bad. He blames him himself for being faulty, for not doing everything right, and the longer this continues, the more he doubts his ability.

Ye, it doesn’t really matter what the cause of a problem is we can always find the solution.

We can always build ourselves and become better. We can learn and activate that which we have learnt.

Self-confidence is great, really great. It helps you stand out from the crowd.

It helps you feel in control of your own life.

Do you now want to become confident in yourself? Do you want to love yourself just the way you are?

5 Ways To Instantly Improve Personal Confidence

1. Decide to Be Confident

Make the decision to love yourself, to accept your flaws and yet work on them.

Decide to love every part of you, to focus more on your strengths while you improve on your weaknesses.

Decide to love your big, round eyes.

Decide to love your small and petite body.

Decide to love your seemingly unattractive complexion.

Love everything about you.

Fall crazily in love with you and, you’ll find that self-doubt will be strangled to death soonest.

2. Engage With Those Who Value & Appreciate You

The people you mingle with has a direct impact on your behaviour and choices.

Their thoughts and acts have a way of rubbing off on you. So if you are ready to build your personal confidence, you have to stay away from people who make you feel worse than you really are.

Stay away from negative minded people. Then, build relationships with people who value you, people who are positive.

People who love you for who you are, and people who are self-confident themselves.

Doing this will help you grow your self-esteem which in turn will help you become truly confident in yourself.

3. Write Down Your Strengths

Make a list of the things you are good at, write down all the good things about you.

Are you caring and slow to anger? Are you easy to work with?

Are you able to handle different things simultaneously?

Do you have great dreams? Are you more spiritual?

Can you create things from almost nothing?

Write, write.

Write down all the good about you, and place them where you’ll see it every time.

This is one quick way to build your personal confidence.

4. Stop the Comparison

Most people wallow in self-doubt because they compare themselves with almost everyone.

They confess things like…

“She has a very long hair, I wish mine is just like hers”

“He is tall, why am I not?”

“Why am I not light skinned as Sheila? The girl is beautiful’

People tend to make harmful comparisons as those above.

The more we compare, the worse we feel about ourselves and self-doubt lays hold of us.

If you stop comparing you with other people.

If you start seeing you as unique and distinct, you will build a formidable personal confidence.

5. Give Confidence

Truth is, the more confidence you exude, the more confidence you gain.

Confidence attracts confidence. That is why you become very confident the moment you take the first to do things you are afraid of doing.

Most people dread speaking in public, so when they are called upon to speak, they tremble for the first few minutes and then they get themselves back on their feet.

When you are confident in your ability, people tend to become confident in you and you also become more confident in you.

So give out confidence, radiate confidence and you will become more confident in your ability.

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Conclusion

Self-confident people are admired by others and inspire confidence in others.

I hope the different ways shared above will help you resolve your biggest problems with confidence.

Remember, self-confident people, see their lives in a positive light even when things aren’t going so well, and they are typically satisfied with and respect themselves.

Let others celebrate you, learn from you. Use what you have because what you have is plenty.

Your turn

Have you had an ugly experience where you felt hurt or disappointed? When the going got tough what are the steps you took in building your personal confidence? Your thought is highly valued. I want to learn from you too.

Categories: Personal Development

Chidera Ochuagu

Chidera Ochuagu

Chidera is a Writer, Speaker and Teen Life Coach who help teenagers find their fire and become the best version of themselves. She is the founder of Smart Teens Network. A platform dedicated to raising next teen generational leaders.

13 Comments

Prosper Noah · 10/10/2017 at 12:00 PM

Hi Prince,

Great Post on resolving personal confidence issues.

We can liken this to low self esteem too, however you’ve done a great job listing some things that can help resolve It.

Have a nice day!

    Chidera Ochuagu

    Chidera Ochuagu · 10/12/2017 at 10:48 AM

    Thank you Prosper.

    Have a great day 🙂

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