Nancy, a girl in her mid teen years, was gang raped by 3 guys on her way back from school.

She lived in a remote area and had extra classes after school.

Going back home in the dark streets, she was apprehended by a group of three guys who raped her without mercy.

Fortunately, she survived it and was taken to the little hospital in the neighborhood where she was treated until she was fit again.

The area was such where rapists go scot-free and the raped face social stigma.

In Nancy’s case, she was so stigmatized that she had to leave the area to live with her aunt in the city.

At least, she found peace staying with her aunt who was loving and caring. Not anymore did she have to be stigmatized.

Life continued, And though it wasn’t easy to get over what had happened.

She found strength and was able to overcome depression and it likes.

Months had gone since Nancy came to the city, she had heard several stories of how many other girls had been raped, and sadly enough, some lost their lives in the process.

She got disturbed and was passionate about putting an end to rape by making sure rapists face the law.

She was also interested in giving back hope to the raped.

At 18, Nancy took a bold step and founded the “End Rape” organization.

Through this, she’s been able to save thousands of lives and as well gotten rapists arrested.

She had been broken but yet she’s retained her beauty.

Your case might not be exactly like that of Nancy’s. You might not have been raped. But perhaps, you’re going through really tough times.

Probably, you are in that situation where hope seems to be so far away from you.

Hold on, you may be broken now, but that doesn’t mean you’re destroyed.

Your brokenness doesn’t entail that you’re useless.

Melon seeds can never be used for cooking soup until they are first broken and grounded.

If it doesn’t get peeled through a form of breaking, its potential won’t be maximally used.

The almighty Nigerian Egusi soup wouldn’t be if these melon seeds aren’t crushed.

So, don’t lose hope yet, don’t die yet.

I know it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, just wait a little longer and you will see a ray of light in that darkness.

I want to show you how you can get the beauty of you shining brighter and brighter even while you’ve been left to your own tent.

How do you acquire more beauty after being broken?

1. Be positive

No matter what happens to you, always be ready to accept all of it with a positive mindset.

Always see the good in that bad situation. Look closely, and you’ll discover that all those times were actually for your betterment.

You’ll discover that you’ve found amazing strengths in your weaknesses, not just that, you’ll also realize that you’ve gained experiences which will help you grow tremendously.

2. Realize that pains birth gains

Do you remember the cliché, no pain, no gain?

The journey to greatness is always that way.

Imagine what would have happened if Nancy wasn’t raped, of course, she wouldn’t start-up the “End Rape” organization, and she wouldn’t have achieved much in life.

You see, your pains have not come to kill you, they’ve only come to make you stronger, bolder, and tougher.

Remain strong, find strength in your weaknesses, use them.

Make your pains pay you, don’t let those pains waste.

Pains are precious, they are essential to man’s greatness.

The melon seed too has to endure pains if it must become soup.

It must be crushed and grounded and that’s what makes it valuable.

Allow your pains make you valuable. You might be broken, but don’t lose your beauty in it.

3. Be with the right people

The person or people whom you listen to during your pain time largely determines how useful your pain will become.

Why do you think Nancy had to leave her remote area for the city?

Obviously, staying back there would have permanently killed her spirit, and yes, she might not be able to go through all those stigmatization plus the depression she experienced.

She might have committed suicide, who knows? Thank God she left.

Her aunt was supportive and no doubt, she stood by her during those tough times.

The people who you spend time with can affect your success.

Your association is a reflection of how far you’ll go in life.

Make friends with people who will urge you to keep moving when you feel like giving up.

People who constantly points you to the goal, people who give you reasons you should never waste your pain.

Being friends with the wrong people will only make your life meaningless.

If Nancy had a friend who belonged to a cult group, what do you think would have happened?

We all know that the friend will see Nancy’s rape case as an opportunity to lure her into cultism.

Maybe the friend will start giving suggestions like?

“Once you join us, we’ll help you get back to those guys who raped you,” “If you had been one of us, you wouldn’t have been raped”

And, you know what?

Nancy might start considering those suggestions because, at that time when the wounds were still fresh in her heart, she would definitely want to pay those guys back.

And then, at the end, she’ll join the gang and become a notorious street girl.

Fortunately, she didn’t have such friends.

That’s how much effect our associations can have on us.

Keep the right friends, they decide how beautiful you’ll be after getting broken.

Fortunately, she didn’t have such friends. That’s how much effect our associations can have on us.

Keep the right friends, they decide how beautiful you’ll be after getting broken.

And then, at the end, she’ll join the gang and become a notorious street girl.


Be like Nancy, refuse to let your past or present predicament stop you from making the best out of your future. You know, a broken bowl can still make a beautiful flower vase.

Hold on a little. Hope for the best and allow your pains birth gains.

You know, a broken bowl can still make a beautiful flower vase. Hold on a little. Hope for the best and allow your pains birth gains.

Don’t give up yet! The world awaits you.

Your turn

Have you been broken before? What was your reaction when you feel broken, depressed and frustrated? What were the steps you took when things turned bad?

Chidera Ochuagu

Chidera Ochuagu

Chidera is a Writer, Speaker and Teen Life Coach who help teenagers find their fire and become the best version of themselves. She is the founder of Smart Teens Network. A platform dedicated to raising next teen generational leaders.


Natasha · 08/11/2017 at 8:02 AM

Well, Nancy we are many out here – you are not alone. My father was so supportive – he took me into the words of Christ and showed me how much beauty, how to give thanks even in the bad.

One thing having a positive person around during times like this does is that, it helps you see the bigger picture.

I feel God allowed me to be broken to know what it feels and help others. I’m dreaming of an academy for broken people like us – where these girls are taken “outta” streets and environments that threatens their emotional stability.

I grew up with gender crisis cos’ mine, it was not just guys alone but, lesbians too. But I’m strong, I’m beautiful and I’m special!

Stay positive.

    Chidera ochuagu

    Chidera ochuagu · 08/11/2017 at 9:15 PM

    Yes, Natasha, you are beautiful, strong and powerful.

    Keep thriving, the world is your stage.

Ken Hanaya · 08/12/2017 at 5:55 PM

I commend Nancy for stepping at the age of 18.

I can’t imagine what she had gone through especially with me being a parent of 2 teenage girls.

It’s a scary world we live but we have to stick together so these stop happening.

Good article.

    Chidera ochuagu

    Chidera ochuagu · 08/12/2017 at 11:59 PM

    Thanks Ken, we are constantly fighting to bring all of it to an end.

Grace · 08/12/2017 at 6:30 PM

Life has it’s ups and downs don’t let the downs encourage you. Let it give you more power and motivation to become whatever you want and to succeed in life. On bad times it is nice if you have the right people around you but if you don’t just keep on moving forward and make a positive out of the negative. The world is your runway you create your own succes story.

    Chidera ochuagu

    Chidera ochuagu · 08/13/2017 at 12:02 AM

    Exactly, Create your own success story.

    Thanks Grace.

Anyaogu Ikechukwu · 08/14/2017 at 4:11 PM

No matter what you pass through, being with the right people and staying positive will help you achieve great results as far as you take action on your dreams.

Thanks for sharing

    Chidera ochuagu

    Chidera ochuagu · 08/20/2017 at 4:51 PM

    Being with the right people really matters.

    Thanks for reading, Ikechukwu.

Rahul Mane · 08/14/2017 at 7:17 PM

Hi, Thanks for such great information. it’s very Inspirational.

    Chidera ochuagu

    Chidera ochuagu · 08/20/2017 at 4:56 PM

    I’m gald you found it useful, thanks for reading Rahul.

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